So fucking pissed.
yay.
Why can't people just... gah. go screw someone.
Kay thanks
Bye Bitch

OMG. why would you do that? why? whywhywhywhywhy??????? ASDFGHJKL MOTHER DICK!

i'm ever going to blog about yesterday. so many things happened, and besides, basically everybody who reads my LJ knows what happened. XP i'm not quite sure i believe yesterday actually happened anyways...

so today i hung out with fiona and amanda. oh eating pepperoni outside of pathmark~~


wow, seriously, why don't i have the motivation to write a legit blog anymore?

i'm not quite sure if yesterday really happened...

Bed 
To see your bed in your dream, represents your intimate self and discovery of your sexuality. If you are sleeping in your own bed, then it denotes security and restoration of your mind. You may be looking for domestic bliss, for peace or for some form of escape. The dream may also be a pun on the completion of a project and putting it to bed. Consider the condition of the bed. If the bed is made, then it symbolizes security. If the bed is unmade, then it indicates that certain secrets will soon be exposed or revealed.

Chocolate 
To see chocolate in your dream, signifies self-reward. It also denotes that you may be indulging in too many excesses and need to practice some restraint.

Eating 
To dream that you are eating alone, signifies loss, loneliness, and depression. You may feel rejected, excluded, and cut off from social/family ties. Eating may be a replacement for companionship and provide a form of comfort. Alternatively, eating alone may reflect independent needs. Also consider the pun, "what's eating you up?" in reference to anxiety that you may be feeling.

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I've come to the conclusion that as time goes on, people will begin to mean less if the same feeling is expected from them all.

this would happen. it would.

i'm dreading tomorrow. and every other day we have indoor

Salmon
To see a salmon in your dream, represents determination, strength, and wisdom. You are able to overcome adversity and achieve success. Alternatively, it suggests that you are comfortable with expressing your emotions and dealing with them.

Fish Market
To dream that you go to a fish market, signifies pleasure and joy.

Father
To see your father in your dream, symbolizes authority and protection. It suggests that you need to be more self-reliant. Consider also your waking relationship with your father and how aspects of his character may be incorporated within yourself.

Pepper
To dream about pepper, indicates that you need to put a little more spice and variety in your life. Alternatively, there may be something that is bothering or irritating you and your dream may be trying to point to the source.



Fork
To see a fork in your dream, represents an extension of your reach. You are on the right track toward pursuing your goals. Alternatively, it may be a pun on "fork it over". Do you feel that you are being coerced or forced?

That's all I remember.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

this is not supposed to happen. D;

so i did some out-of-boredom family history research and learned some messed up stuff.

1. up to my great grand parents, my whole family has arthritis.
2. my great uncle had throat and stomach cancer.
3. my great grandfather is still alive and is 101 y.o.
4. my great great uncle was a schizophrenic.
5. my mom has tuberculosis.


fun stuff...

why me? D;

today was okay.

so i really didn't want to be home today, and i wasn't sure if cierra could give me a ride to her house, so i asked joe to give me a ride to his house so i could walk to her house. so anyways, i walked to her house and i didn't see cierra's car. i just saw her mom and baby jaxen in front. cierra had already left, so i just spent the whole waiting time with those two. bby jaxen is so cute. <3 i was there for like.. an hour until cierra came back. we went to target to exchange her fm transmitter for a new one since a wire broke and it didn't charge her ipod. so yeah, successfully exchanged it. and then we ate. ohmygosh the food was good. i wish my mom would cook meals like that. anyways, then we went for a walk and took pictures by hoover, but i "had" to go and so did they. so we went our separate ways, them going somewhere and me going to joe's house. we watched pineapple express, my second r-rated movie ever. DX it was hilarious but ohmygosh all the killing and blood and shizz. D; oh noes. during the movie, his dog kept licking me and shizz. ohmygosh, big dog. so yeah, then we watched tv for like.. an hour and now i'm home. =]

so, i'm eating. yay! and i only played doodlejump this morning and study hall, so i'm slowly getting over my addiction. hopefully i'm getting better.


so, i'm trying to get over the fact that you don't like me anymore, but it's so hard.

wow, i have so many things to say right now. i'll leave what i think will be the longest for last.

so bridgewater. we didn't do that bad. X)

so on the busride going to bridgewater, i basically just cried the whole. i really needed to vent and obvs my phone would die. so i spent like, the whole time venting to karen. it was pretty difficult, i didn't want her to know all of my extreme ups and downs. like, when she told me that i inspire her and everything, i felt amazed. but yet i feel like, i have to be strong, just for her, and sometimes i just can't. it feels like there's too much pressure to try to be happy.

so today, i must've been pretty annoying. i was just telling everybody how ugly i am, and how fat i am, and i just ended up playing doodlejump for a while. like, at the end of the competition thing, my ipod died. i almost had a legit panic attack because that meant i couldn't play doodlejump anymore. like really? it's just a game. i know that. i know it doesn't mean anything. so why the fuck am i acting this way? i have yet to find an answer.

okay, let's get to the longest part, shall we?
it's basically the same thing i've been saying for the past two weeks. so anyways, i've been getting really sad lately. some of the reasons are perfectly reasonable. and it's weird. it's been two weeks, i should be starting to get over you, but i can't. everytime i get sad, i wish you would talk to me. not even about anything important. it could just be a one-worded conversation. i don't know how to describe it. it seems as though you're the only one who can make me feel better, and it shouldn't be that way. you're my ex-boyfriend, past tense. i shouldn't want to rely on you for comfort. in reality, it seems as though i want to vent to you more than when we were going out. strange, huh? but you always make me feel better. you don't even know that you do, but you do. you don't even do much. like, just saying hi or just making a move on words with friends or anything, that automatically gets me better. i feel like i'm acting like a little girl with a puppy crush, and maybe that's true. i really have no idea. i barely understand how my feelings work. i don't know, i just know you'd make me feel better, but at the same time, i get sad because i shouldn't feel this way. i shouldn't want comfort for my ex-boyfriend, that's not the way it works. but last night, i was almost going to have a breakdown, and i so badly wanted to call you. although i knew you wouldn't answer, i don't really know what i wanted to expect. i keep repeating the same thing over and over again, but i really don't understand. why do you have this effect on me? how come you can make me feel so much better without even trying?

why do i n e e d you so much? =/

We're going to keep this short and sweet (Frank and birthday vgifts will be back next week). You've probably seen the updates to our main menu. Don't be alarmed. You'll find everything you need, just in slightly shifted format. Just so you know, we based these changes on input from both experienced and new users who were not familiar with LiveJournal. Our goal was to reduce barriers to usability and make LiveJournal more accessible and easy to navigate. Please note that this is a work in progress. We welcome your detailed suggestions in feedback. We thank you, in advance, for helping us improve your LiveJournal experience.

We've updated the global navigation menu:

Here's a quick breakdown of what you'll find where:

• Scrapbook can now be found under Profile (thanks for your feedback, btw), along with Settings, Stats, and Edit Profile.
• You'll find all the tools you need to post and update entries under Journal, which includes posting and editing entries, managing comments and tags, and customizing your journal's style.
• Friends contains all of your friend settings, from filtering your Friends page to adding, removing, and finding new and existing friends on LiveJournal.
• Under Communities, you'll find links to manage your communities, accept community invites, and create new communities.
• Explore includes search features, RSS feeds, Question of the Day, and FRNK radio.
• Under Shop, you'll find links to upgrade or give a paid account, buy virtual gifts, purchase LiveJournal merchandise (like T-shirts), and view your payment history.

LiveJournal Mobile update:

We've enhanced LiveJournal's mobile site to improve usability and load times. We've made more of LiveJournal's features accessible via mobile, including posting comments, uploading photos, reading and commenting on friends' posts, finding and messaging friends, and more. We look forward to reviewing your feedback and recommendations for future improvements.

Other important changes:

• You can lock comments to prevent further commenting on a post, while leaving existing comments visible.
• We replaced the "Tell a friend" link with a new "Share This" widget that lets you share LiveJournal posts on other social media sites, including Facebook, Digg, Twitter, etc.
• We changed some of the icons on entries (you can hover over the icons to view descriptions).
• You'll see a Tag count on your Tag management page.
• You'll now see the 10 most recent vgifts on your profile page. To remove vgifts, left-click on the vgift and choose whether you want to remove the vgift from your profile or delete it entirely.
• We've added options to help you control receipt of vgifts, which you'll find in My Stuff under Edit Profile. You can now enable vgifts from friends or everyone and disable anonymous vgifts.

We've got your fix:

• UPDATE: Rolling several updates into one listing here -- 1) Scrapbook should be back and working again. 2) The problem with the Update Journal page in IE6 and IE7 should be fixed now. 3) The problem with the userpic add-on package pricing has been fixed and refunds issued to anyone who was overcharged while the erroneous prices were in place.
• Non-conforming images will now be automatically resized for custom mood themes.
• Line breaks no longer count as two characters against your entry's character limit.
• We fixed a bug on the Manage Tags page so you can clear all tags and add new tags.
• We corrected the UI for the update.bml page so it displays properly in IE8.

Thanks again for joining us. Frank and company will be back next week!